I’ve been thinking about exes a lot lately. This time, the issues are coming up not my own ex, but rather the ex of my significant other. And how significant that other was and still is to him even now.
Recently, we’ve had a few issues come up that were set in motion by his ex years ago, but because they don’t talk, the problem got larger and is much more difficult to untangle now. Not impossible by any means, but much hairier and scarier than it would have been had it been dealt with a little bit more appropriately years ago.
And there’s a lot of blame from her side, although technically, it was her actions that started the problems in the first place. But she still was angry and blamed him, freaked out about the whole thing and wanted him to pay a good deal of money to fix it.
My s.o. was upset, but not angry, and he was willing to pay someone to help her fix it, although he wasn’t really obligated to do so. Why? Because he cares about her, and he wants her to be happy. Even though there was a great deal of pain and resentment and rejection, he still cares and wants to help her.
I’ve never been jealous of his caring for her. Granted, I’m not prone to jealousy in general, but even so, I really have never felt like his caring for her in any way diminished his love for me. In fact, now I even feel safer with him, because I understand a little more the depth of his heart after being with him for a year and a half.
I have come to understand more of what family means to him. And his ex, even though she rejected him, will always be a part of his family. And with family, love multiplies when membership increases. With a generous heart, love has no boundaries. That’s why I feel even safer with him now than before. He chose me and mine to be a part of his family, and that’s a forever thing.
And even though there have been times when he has upset me, when I have felt sad and tiny and unlovable, he’s still there for me.
When I look in his eyes, I only ever see love there.